My romance with cocaine began over 20 years ago,
back in my clubbing days. At first my use was infrequent and recreational,
mainly once at the weekends socialising with friends. Over a short time my use
increased to 2 or 3 times per week (1 bag each time) as I found myself enjoying
the high and as I worked hard I thought, 'I deserve it!'. In August 1998 my
first child was stillborn at 8 and a half months and soon after my marriage
ended in divorce. I found it difficult to cope with the grief and put on a
brave face, to all intents and purposes carrying on as usual but with one big
difference, my cocaine use increased exponentially. In 2001 I started my own
business and my son was born. Life was hectic, long hours at work and sleepless
nights (he cried ALOT!!) left me feeling exhausted. My solution was to use more
cocaine and power through. Business increased and things began to look up. My
romance with cocaine grew. Then, in 2007 the main contractor on a project at
BMW went bust taking my business down in the process. Again my cocaine use
increased, and so did my emotional and financial problems.
To fund my increasingly expensive habit I made
the decision to grow cannabis on a large scale.
It provided me with a rich source of (illegal) income, most of which
went to my dealer. This came to an abrupt end on the 28th February 2014 when I
was arrested for cannabis production and I received a two year suspended
sentence along with 300 hours of community service. My cocaine use continued
unabated and I began to rack up debt.
By October this year I was using 3 bags of
cocaine every day, along with alcohol and cannabis. My mental health had deteriorated
to the point that I would isolate myself at home whenever I could, venturing
out to care for my step-father or see my two children when necessary. Looking for answers I was convinced I had
Borderline Personality Disorder and nearly checked into Lynfield Mount, a
mental health hospital. I've since found
out I was suffering from cocaine psychosis, obvious really although I wouldn't
admit my drug use to myself or anyone else at the time. On learning that my son
had tried a line of cocaine I knew that the universe was trying to tell
me something. I had reached rock-bottom
and something had to give.
Determined to find help I searched Google and
found ARCH in Shipley, a drink and drugs service only 5 minutes walk from my
flat. Within 15 minutes of calling I was
interviewed and my recovery began.
Recovery at ARCH
Each client is assigned a key worker, a person
who provides essential support and advice throughout the recovery programme.
Some of the key workers are former addicts who have been through recovery and have
firsthand experience of the inherent challenges and dangers. As well as being a guide throughout the
process they provide practical help with issues such as housing, benefits and
debt. After all, most addicts have been trying to support a lifestyle that's
beyond their means and are in dire financial trouble. These problems increase
stress and makes addicts more likely to resort to using. Moreover, they provide
the positive inspiration that made me believe that I
could break the addiction too.
My key worker is Kevin and he's always available
whenever I need support and advice. We discuss relationships, thoughts and
feelings, challenges and goals in an open manner; there's no judgment but it's
straightforward and direct. Being an addict is about lying to oneself and
others, anything to feed the habit. It's so refreshing to be honest after all
these years! It's rewarding to see the pleasure on Kevin's face when I tell him
I've achieved my goals. I feel that he really cares about my recovery, as do all
of the staff at ARCH.
I attend ARCH every weekday morning and my
week starts with meeting my key worker Kevin. I enjoy the structure that ARCH
provides from "Check-In" on a Monday morning to "Check-Out"
on Friday. Apart from providing me with an outlet to discuss the issues I'm
facing with my recovery, the programme gives me valuable practical advice to
help deal with cravings and tools to help improve my prospects of recovery.
ARCH really provides me with a route back to life
without narcotics and the confidence to plan my future. I'd like to thank all
the staff at ARCH especially Kevin for their hard work and help in my recovery.
I'm currently clean for 70 days and I'm looking forward to a brighter future
without narcotics.
